Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes A No Bullshit Guide to World

From the creator of Myths Retold comes a hilarious collection of Greek Norse Chinese and even Sumerian myths retold in their purest bawdiest forms All our lives we've been fed watered down PC versions of the classic myths In reality mythology isscrewed up than a schizophrenic shaman doing hits of unidentifiedwait it all makes sense now In Zeus Grants Stupid WishesCory O'Brien creator of Myths RETOLD sets the stories straight These are rude crude totally sacred texts told the way they were meant to be told loudly and with lots of four letter words Did you know? Cronus liked to eat babies Narcissus probably should have just learned to masturbate Odin got construction discounts with bestiality Isis had bad taste in jewelry Ganesh was the very definition of an unplanned pregnancy And Abraham was totally cool about stabbing his kid in the face Still skeptical? Here are a fewgems to consider Zeus once stuffed an unborn fetus inside his thigh to save its life after he exploded its mother by being too good in bed The entire Egyptian universe was saved because Sekhmet just got too hammered to keep murdering everyone The Hindu universe is run by a married couple who only stop murdering in order to throw sweet dance partieson the corpses of their enemies The Norse goddess Freyja once consented to a four dwarf gangbang in exchange for one shiny necklace And there'sdysfunctional goodness where that came fromFrom the creator of Myths Retold comes a hilarious collection of Greek Norse Chinese and even Sumerian myths retold in their purest bawdiest forms All our lives we've been fed watered down PC versions of the classic myths In reality mythology isscrewed up than a schizophrenic shaman doing hits of unidentifiedwait it all makes sense now In Zeus Grants Stupid WishesCory O'Brien creator of Myths RETOLD sets the stories straight These are rude crude totally sacred texts told the way they were meant to be told loudly and with lots of four letter words Did you know? Cronus liked to eat babies Narcissus probably should have just learned to masturbate Odin got construction discounts with bestiality Isis had bad taste in jewelry Ganesh was the very definition of an unplanned pregnancy And Abraham was totally cool about stabbing his kid in the face Still skeptical? Here are a fewgems to consider Zeus once stuffed an unborn fetus inside his thigh to save its life after he exploded its mother by being too good in bed The entire Egyptian universe was saved because Sekhmet just got too hammered to keep murdering everyone The Hindu universe is run by a married couple who only stop murdering in order to throw sweet dance partieson the corpses of their enemies The Norse goddess Freyja once consented to a four dwarf gangbang in exchange for one shiny necklace And there'sdysfunctional goodness where that came fromFrom the creator of Myths Retold comes a hilarious collection of Greek Norse Chinese and even Sumerian myths retold in their purest bawdiest forms All our lives we've been fed watered down PC versions of the classic myths In reality mythology isscrewed up than a schizophrenic shaman doing hits of unidentifiedwait it all makes sense now In Zeus Grants Stupid WishesCory O'Brien creator of Myths RETOLD sets the stories straight These are rude crude totally sacred texts told the way they were meant to be told loudly and with lots of four letter words Did you know? Cronus liked to eat babies Narcissus probably should have just learned to masturbate Odin got construction discounts with bestiality Isis had bad taste in jewelry Ganesh was the very definition of an unplanned pregnancy And Abraham was totally cool about stabbing his kid in the face Still skeptical? Here are a fewgems to consider Zeus once stuffed an unborn fetus inside his thigh to save its life after he exploded its mother by being too good in bed The entire Egyptian universe was saved because Sekhmet just got too hammered to keep murdering everyone The Hindu universe is run by a married couple who only stop murdering in order to throw sweet dance partieson the corpses of their enemies The Norse goddess Freyja once consented to a four dwarf gangbang in exchange for one shiny necklace And there'sdysfunctional goodness where that came from