Here They Are Some Of The Funniest Tales And Ruminations Ever Put Into Print, By One Of The Great Comic Minds Of Our Time From THE WHORE OF MENSA, To GOD A Play , To NO KADDISH FOR WEINSTEIN, Old And New Woody Allen Fans Will Laugh Themselves Hysterical Over These Sparkling Gems . 2.. If you haven t already read The Whore of Mensa , then do so now Here s a trailer Hi, I m Sherry They really knew how to appeal to your fantasies Long, straight hair, leather bag, silver earrings, no make up I m surprised you weren t stopped, walking into the hotel dressed like that, I said The house dick can usually spot an intellectual A five spot cools him Shall we begin I said, motioning her to the couch She lit a cigarette and got right to it I think we could start by approaching Billy Budd as Melville s justification of the ways of God to man, n est ce pasInterestingly, though, not in a Miltonian sense I was bluffing I wanted to see if she d go for it. Loved the title a take on hope is the thing with feathers from Emily Dickinson Disliked pretty much the rest of the book I disliked it for apparently the same reasons that someone else liked it the book is self indulgent and weird. I ran into my brother today at a funeral We had not seen one another for fifteen years, but as usual he produced a pig bladder from his pocket and began hitting me on the head with it Time has helped me understand him better I finally realized his remark that I am some loathsome vermin fit only for extermination was said out of compassion than anger Let s face it he was always much brighter than me wittier, cultured, better educated Why he is still working at McDonald s is a mystery Woody Allen A name which I d only been familiar with on a very shallow level before reading this book, will now go down as one of the most hysterical people to ever grace this earth, in my book His mixture of intellect, seemingly random tangents, and borderline psychopathic ravings kept this book glued in my hands from start to finish I found either his personal thoughts or his descriptions of mythical creatures to be the most intriguing by intriguing, I mean entertaining He fills each page with a seemingly vast knowledge of these unheard of topics, giving the illusion of validity And for that, he is a genius. I practically memorized this entire book when I was a sopho in high school, so it probably brings a lot of bad memories to people who knew me then But seriously, this was the funniest book I d ever read up until that point The humor is a strange mix of borchst belt one liners and sophisticated critiques of man s faculty for reason and speculation It s an odd mix, that manifests in truly odd, esoteric pieces of intellectual inquiry What, for example, would be the main difference if the Impressionist painters had been dentists instead Or how does Greek tragedy work if the chorus is borrowed from a production of My Fair Lady and the main spectacle of the performance is a machine that delivers God to the stage, but God arrives dead Most of the problems W Allen poses will never have to be encounterd in real life, but their deadpan humor often relates us back to our own place in the cosmos For example, in But Soft.Real Soft, Woody Allen takes on the age old intellectual argument over the authorship of Shakespeare s plays Everyone from Pope Alexander to Alexander Pope pops up as a possible subject The essay reminds us that ideas of immortality in literature are inherently dependent upon an education system that encourages memorization and interconnectedness This book makes those very concepts seem dear and impractical.Favorite bits from THE ALLEN NOTEBOOKS he writes, Should I marry W Not if she won t tell me the rest of the letters in her name The tone is half literary convention half punchline Having cut his teeth in writing television gags and one liners, Woody Allen can write good jokes and he can write interesting situations of philosophical interest The crazy thing is that he makes both kinds of tone work well together.The centerpieces of this book are 2 plays The first, God, pays tribute to the theatre festivals of the ancient Greeks but with a delightful intertextuality that also allows characters such as Stanly Kowalski and Blanche Dubois from Streetcar Named Desire to infiltrate the new theatre, as imagined by playwrights Diabetes and Trichinosis The cross pollination of ancient Greek ideas of art and the universe along with contemporary questions of existence makes for a lively inquiry into the meaning of the universe The second play, Death, didn t work all that well, and I remember hearing parts of the dialogue reworked into Shadows and Fog, one of Allen s less interesting films But the pacing of the humor is admirable, and it certainly is refreshing to read plays that, like Pirandello s, break down the conventions of theatre and remake them in new, exciting ways.This book is a appropriate for precocious kids, college students, New Yorkers, intellectuals and anyone who wants to laugh deeply at the folly of human existence Even after all these years, I still laugh out loud at the twists, at the timing, at the vocabulary of humor ruptured her spleen is funny, anything involving an insurance salesman is funny, and of course meditations on life and death are funny, funny, funny One of his best. A todas luces pasa a ser uno de mis favoritos, s lo por alienarme a n m s al hacerme re r a carcajadas en plena sala de espera del aeropuerto, en el avi n, y cuartos l gubre s de hospital, provocando que m s de alguno se molestase, me alegr d as por dem s tristes, e impregn en mi con declarada simpleza ideas de colosal envergadura tales como el por qu de los principales psiquiatras jud os y el porque de la muy necesaria y buena dicci n de Dios. Without Feathers, Woody AllenWithout Feathers 1975, ISBN 0 394 49743 0 is one of Woody Allen s best known literary pieces The book is a collection of essays and also features two one act plays, Death and God.Contents Selections from The Allen NotebooksExamining Psychic PhenomenaA Guide to Some of the Lesser BalletsThe ScrollsLovborg s Women ConsideredThe Whore of Mensa 2 Death A Play The Early EssaysA Brief Yet Helpful Guide to Civil DisobedienceMatch Wits With Inspector FordThe Irish GeniusGod A Play Fabulous Tales and Mythical BeastsBut Soft Real Soft.If the Impressionists Had Been DentistsNo Kaddish for WeinsteinFine Times An Oral MemoirSlang Origins 2005 1383 175 1384 20 1393 163 1396 9786005193817 An occasionally highly amusing compilation of slices of absurdist humour and satire by that most famous of neurotic Jews, Woody Allen As quite the fan of his directorial efforts, my recognition of his idiosyncratic brand of comedy was instantaneous It reminded me in particular of his delightful Love and Death 1975 , which came out in the very same year as this book However, rating this is tricky indeed Some pieces rightly deserve to be called comedic genius The Whore of Mensa, Death A Play, If the Impressionists Had Been Dentists, A Brief Yet Helpful Guide to Civil Disobedience , but unfortunately I didn t care as much for the others These alone would deserve a 5 star rating, but as a whole package, this book is of a three In these times of societal unrest, It would be apt to provide some levity, and leave you good folks with some passages from A Brief Yet Helpful Guide to Civil Disobedience If you find yourself to be receptive to the tone of them, I do suggest you might want to pick this collection up Hunger Strike Here the oppressed goes without food until his demands are met Insiduous politicians will often leave biscuits within easy reach or perhaps some cheddar cheese, but they must be resisted If the party in power can get the striker to eat, they usually have little trouble putting down the insurrection If they can get him to eat and also lift the check, they have won for sure In Pakistan, a hunger strike was broken when the government produced an exceptionally fine veal cordon bleu which the masses found was too appealing to turn down, but such gourmet dishes are rare.The problem with the hunger strike is that after several days one can get quite hungry, particularly since sound trucks are paid to go through the street saying, Um what nice chicken umm some peas umm A modified form of the Hunger Strike for those whose political convictions are not quite so radical is giving up on chives This small gesture, when used properly, can greatly influence a government, and it is well known that Mahatma Gandhi s insistence on eating his salads untossed shamed the British government into many concessions.Other things besides food one can give up are whist, smiling, and standing on one foot and imitating a crane.Demonstrations and Marches The key point about a demonstration is that it must be seen Hence the term demonstration If a person demonstrates privately in his own home, this is not technically a demonstration but merely acting silly or behaving like an ass A fine example of a demonstration was the Boston Tea Party, where outraged Americans disguised as Indians dumped British tea into the harbour Later, Indians disguised as outraged Americans dumped actual British into the harbor Following that, the British disguised as tea, dumped each other into the harbor Finally, German mercenaries clad only in costumes from The Trojan Woman leapt into the harbor for no apparent reason.When demonstrating, it is good to carry a placard stating one s position Some suggested positions are 1 Lower taxes 2 Raise taxes 3 Stop grinning at Persians.Miscellaneous methods of Civil Disobedience Standing in front of City Hall and chanting the word pudding until one s demands are met.Tying up traffic by leading a flock of sheep into the shopping area.Phoning members of the establishment and singing Bless, You Is My Woman Now into the phone.Dressing as a policeman and then skipping.Pretending to be an artichoke but punching people as they pass.